How to take relationships to the next level, at an early age?

Getting married too early can have a lot of consequences that are negative. Of a young age, women might not be able to hold the responsibility of an entire home, be able to fulfill their parts as wives, or have the power to be a student, worker, and a housewife. Yet, it is very common to see women in the Arab-Islamic world getting married at a very young age.

Perhaps it is because their religious beliefs prevent them from allowing any physical contact, and I mean “any”, before being legally and religiously married. Fathers want to get their daughters married so that the honor is preserved, and the girl is ensured not to have any physical contact or lose her virginity before she is with her legal husband. This is mostly seen in Saudi Arabia. Lebanon does have early marriages as well, but not always for the same reasons.

In the United States, it is very uncommon to see a young couple married. Perhaps the only time you do see such, is when the couple went mad and decided to get married, in a moment of rush. They even find it very unwelcomed for a young woman to be married. The thought of her having a baby is even scarier. The reason is that they believe marriage limits the freedom of a woman, and there is no absolute reason that would leave no way but marriage for a young person.

Sexual contact is perhaps more accepted in the United States, and it is very common for a girl to lose her virginity before marriage. That is because there are no religious attachments that are strong enough for such a subject to be stopped. This differs in Lebanon since people are more religiously consumed, and a woman’s “honor” is determined by if she can save herself for the big night.

It is very different between the two countries. Lebanon is a liberal and open-minded country, but it still carries among its people more conservative thoughts, and that is what makes the difference.

Going back to the marriage idea, it’s not always for religious reasons. A lot of young women feel they are responsible enough, and feel they can take the load of getting married and having a home. In the US, when a woman feels she has reached a well level of responsibility, and is willing to move on to a more serious step, marriage is not what comes to mind. Moving in together maybe, getting a puppy, but not getting married.

People think differently of this specific subject, as they consider it to be a very drastic change in their lives, and that is why each person handles it differently. Even in the same country, a lot of people might accept the early marriage as a good step towards taking things to the next level, while others consider it a very unconscious move that is not worth the try.


5 thoughts on “How to take relationships to the next level, at an early age?

  1. This generations ideals of marriage and when to get married have changed significantly from the past American generations. As stated in the blog a concern of getting married young is that women may not be able to hold the responsibility of an entire home. This may have been a concern of past generations however, as a young American woman I know that this is not a concern of mine or any of my American friends. The young generation of American women is not viewing marriage as an equivalent to holding the responsibility of an entire home. Instead many young women today expect their partner to hold equal responsibility of home chores as well as raising children. Women are increasingly more independent and self sustained. As noted in the blog, in the United States many citizens do not have as strong of religious ties as Arab women do and this may be a contributing cause to early sexual contact for young Americans. This idea is relative to everyone and dependent on what environment and values they were brought up with. However, Lynn stated in her blog that the “idea of having a baby is even scarier” for young Americans. The United States has the highest rate of teen pregnancy among all industrialized nations. Although yes it is often scary, it is a reality for many American teenagers. The strong religious values Arab women have helps to prevents teen pregnancy. Since many American teens lack strong religious discipline, available contraceptive methods should be made available as well as taught and discussed with parents and in schools. Creating a more open environment about sexual relations will help facilitate education and allow for teens to make more responsible decisions.

    1. Very true, and I agree. But it is also very well known that even couples who get married in the United states do not think of having children as it is a heavy load to bear. Perhaps the US does have the highest teen pregnancy rate, but not because they want tom but as you stated, because they are not using the right contraceptive methods. However, i absolutely agree with the last part you said, “Creating a more open environment about sexual relations will help facilitate education and allow for teens to make more responsible decisions.”, and I think this needs to be applied in the Arab world as well.

  2. It is true that it is becoming less and less common to see young married couples in the United States. Many women are very ambitious and feel that marriage will inhibit their dreams. I think in America many young teens are losing faith in marriage. It is constantly in the news of divorce after a short period of time. Also many teens come from homes where their own parents have gotten divorced; seeing your parents break up often makes teens feel their own marriage will never work. I am not sure what the divorce rate is in Lebanon but that might be one reason why people get married young. If teens do not see a lot of divorce in Lebanon than they will have good faith in marriage and living a long happy life. I agree that sexual relations are much more accepted in America. Some have their religious beliefs that keep them from having sexual contact until married but it is often seen that teens are having sex earlier and earlier. Lebanon is very secular and each religion has their beliefs on sexual relations, which keeps many teens from having sex until they are married. There are many differences that explain the difference between the ages of women getting married.

    1. Not only do I agree with your comment about women fearing that marriage with inhibit their dreams but I also believe that many women and men want to build a solid foundation for their careers prior to marriage, if that is in their plans. Many people in America lead a bachelor/ bachelorette lifestyle and don’t ever care to share their life with another person for a variety of reasons, maybe it’s the growing rate of divorce or lack of free time to devote to a well functioning marriage. However, I believe that marriage being having strong religious ties, such as in Lebanon, is a great thing. This keeps marriage pure and holy and not something to take lightly, which is sometimes evident in today’s youth when they wed.

  3. I was so intrigued when reading this blog due to my own personal opinion on marriage. I agree with many statements made in the blog and in the replies. Being a young American woman in my twenties with many friends getting engaged, I have come across many of these questions myself. Personally, I have had many conversations with my peers about getting married at our current age. Our similar consensus has been that we are not ready for that commitment; a commitment that requires time and effort on a daily basis. This commitment is one that I think needs to be made after you have your own identity. I think many times young couples have not identified themselves as individuals, so they don’t know who they are without their partner. If a couple is comprised of two individuals that have realized they are better people when they are together, I think the marriage has a much higher chance of success. But as noted in the blog, I know that divorce is a crucial issue that deters or creates hesitation when it comes to making the big commitment. No one plans on getting a divorce, but it is a realization that many have had to unfortunately come to terms with. I think many young people see that one way to avoid the disappointment and hurt of a broken marriage is to postpone or avoid the commitment all together. In countries such as Lebanon, I think that people look at marriage with a different perspective. They see it as an honor they are anxious to participate in. Not to say that Americans do not see it in this same way, just that there are more deterrents from achieving this perspective. Once Americans are secure in their personal lives, have had time to explore without limitations and confident in their partner, I believe they are more willing to take the plunge.

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